Let's try this again...

So it has been a while since I posted my first blog, and nary a peep ever since. I guess I'm not sure exactly why I started this blog. I don't know what I want to accomplish. I don't know what to say. I'm afraid that anything I put out there for the world to see will basically just be me pissing in the wind. Granted that's not much more than what many people's blogs amount to, but I am ready to do something that really means something.

It feels like we're living in troubled times. I know, I know, it always feels that way. All times are troubled when you really get down to it. The human race has never exactly excelled at peace and prosperity. Still, it seems as though the world's problems are growing, accelerating, and combining in ways that only paranoid science fiction authors used to dream about.

On top of all of this, it seems that we are living in a world that has become intellectually lazy. Solutions are in short supply because we've all been anesthisized by designer drugs, poor diets, failing schools, manipulative media, and a vacuous pop culture.

Now, I'm certainly not saying anything new here. We've all heard these assertions before and in greater detail. Where it really hits home is that I know that I am both feeding and being devoured by the same social constructs that I am attempting to criticize. Granted, I could discuss the issues in greater depth, with informed opinions and elaborate arguments, and that would be fine if I wanted to be just another talking head, metaphorically speaking, cluttering up the oversaturated blogosphere.

What really makes me disappointed with myself is the fact that I once imagined myself to be a potential agent of change. I believed, and ultimately still believe, that I have the capacity to not only identify and analyze society's ills, but also to dream up solutions for them. I want to make an impact. I want to have a positive influence. In the end I want what everybody who really thinks deeply about their own existence truly wants. I want my life to have meaning.

I am not a religious person. I don't believe in redemption and salvation and the promise of something greater which defines us here and in the afterlife. I believe that in order for one's life to have meaning, one must find ways to create and nurture meaning. This requires that famous combination of hard work and inspiration as applied to one's own natural gifts in order to create something significant and novel. Unfortunately I have become lazy, failed to nuture my talents, and allowed myself to be led astray by safety, comfort, and self-absorbtion.

So there you have it. I'm out here lost in the woods. I suppose what I really want to accomplish with the blog is to find a clearing that will get me back on the right path. There's a trail of breadcrumbs out there for me somewhere, if I can find it. Perhaps this blog will amount to little more than me fumbling about in the brush, but at least that's something. At least I know that I haven't given in and let myself be consumed by the deceptive comfort and deadly temptations of the gingerbread house.